Literary Pretensions; poem submission by Preeti Reddy

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Literary Pretensions

Preeti Reddy

I cannot sing

I cannot dance

Men do not keel over at my glance

I do not sew

I cannot bake

I’ve never learned to ice a cake

I don’t know how to keep a lover

But I can judge any book by its cover

I do not knit

I’ve never tried

To line cupboard shelves on the inside

I do not cook

I refuse to clean

The doorknobs in my house don’t gleam

I’m not sure what makes a good wife

But I know every day of Jane Austen’s life

I cannot sketch

I do not paint

My singing has made people faint

I cannot waltz

I know no sport

I barely keep my home afloat

My smile does not leave men sighing

But I know who wrote ‘A Kiss Before Dying’

I do not ski

I cannot dive

I’ve never actually learned to drive

I do not jog

I hardly pray

I often forget the time of day

I cannot name the stars above

But I know the name of Heathcliff’s love

I bungle along

In most things I do

Is there a God above? I wish I knew

I am ignorant of

So much indeed

That when I die my obituary will read

Good soul, well-meaning, but she had no skills

Except quoting ad nauseum from ‘Daffodils’

Preeti Reddy is the CEO of Kantar Insights, South Asia with responsibility for Kantar’s insights agencies – TNS, Millward Brown and IMRB – in the region. Prior to joining IMRB, she was CEO of LMRB in Sri Lanka.

She has over three decades of experience in consumer marketing, consulting, and research helping leading Indian and multinational companies make informed decisions using consumer understanding.

Preeti was chosen from over 350 women professionals across the industry as one of Impact’s ‘50 Most Influential Women Professionals, 2016, in Indian Media, Marketing and Advertising’.

She holds an Honours degree in Economics from Lady Shri Ram College, Delhi and is an MBA from XLRI, Jamshedpur. She is a voracious reader, a bad bridge player, an aspiring golfer, a wanna-be keyboard player who loves scotch, old Hindi film music, movies and poetry. Her main skill, however, is the ability to read anything.

About artikaaurorabakshi

Artika Aurora Bakshi Artika Aurora Bakshi is the author of five well-acclaimed children’s books,My Little Sikh Handbook, My Little Sikh Handbook 2: Ardas, My Little Sikh Handbook: Travel Journal, My Little Sikh Handbook: The Mighty Sikh Empire, My Little Handbook of Feelings, and an anthology of stories, Hold On To Me. Her first story, set in Amritsar, during the pre-Partition period, All She Had Left, was published on Story Mirror. Her short stories have been published on Kitaab. She co-manages thegoodbookcorner.com, a manuscript help and book review site. Her passion for reading has led her to helping other writers with their manuscripts. She is a Contributing Editor for Nishaan, and the Associate Editor for SLIM Marketer. She comes from a family of lawyers and has a master’s degree in International Banking & Finance. A regular at the Galle Literary Festival and The Ceylon Literary and Art Festival, Artika’s articles and book reviews have featured in the Daily Mirror, Daily News, The Ceylon Chronicle, and various blogs, such as, talkingcranes.com, sikhchic.com, sikhnet.com. An avid reader, Artika runs an online book club with a membership base of over 600 members. Her quotes are featured under soul_nightingale_artika on Instagram and on Soul Nightingale by Artika Aurora Bakshi on Facebook. You can reach Artika at bakshiartika@gmail.com .

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