Looking for closure and finding it through words
Memoirs cannot be critiqued. Stories of loss reach out in their own way and the reader tends to ignore the flow, flaws and language used and gets pulled in by the overwhelming vortex of emotion. One wonders how grief writing helps overcome the loss suffered and if it is a tried and tested formula to let go of the past and move on? Wave by Sonali Deraniyagala was one memoir that touched me deeply as did Anchal Duggal’s I Found Recovery With A Hole In My Soul.
Anchal Duggal lost her husband when she least expected. For her to come to terms with it was a herculean task, which took a toll on her health, her relationship with her only son and her career. “I went in, carrying a shattered heart in my body. ………. I fail to describe the sight of my beloved trying to utter words through his oxygen mask. I failed to understand him or what was crossing his mind at that time”, writes Anchal Duggal in her memoir.
The loss cannot be compensated for, but accepting it and holding on to memories created with the loved one makes the remaining journey liveable.
According to Anchal,”My life feels like a tunnel without a light at the end of it. The emotions are supposed to get bleaker over a period of time as time is supposedly the best healer. But, I fail to understand the depth of them as I don’t see the harshness weakening. Like I tell my therapist Dr. Bhavani, I think this is how I will go to my grave. This book was intended to initially be a catharsis that would allow me to let go of my past. Eventually, I realised that it could serve as a learning for people only to apprehend that experience is the best teacher. Response has been encouraging to an extent that it has moved readers to the point of bringing tears. But the main objective of taking away a learning still remains unaccomplished. Writing has always served as an outlet, with diaries after diaries being filled over the years. And I think, I would like to continue with this. I am working on my next book in continuation to my first wherein I am collating stories of people with similar experiences and their battle for survival. Again, I don’t know how far in writing I will go. But there is a will to bring to light the emotions of survivors of relationships that are broken mid-way. I find people like these have very few outlets and I would like to give them an opportunity, if possible, to find a closure”.
And we hope that through her book,I Found Recovery With A Hole In My Soul Anchal Duggal and many others will find solace in shared experiences.
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